Break out that lipstick ladies (or whoever): Canada’s Princess Justin Trudeau — who is totally not the son of Fidel Castro — is back on the market.
Trudeau and his soon-to-be ex-wife Sophie are splitting up after just over 18 years of marriage. Sophie, 48, and Trudeau, 51, have both signed a legal separation document. They have three kids.
They both want to see other men is pretty good grounds for divorce.
— Stephen Green (@VodkaPundit) August 2, 2023
Sophie released a statement in French on her Instagram account. Based on the little French I learned from my alcoholic French-Canadian grandmother, I believe she is asking everyone to respect the family’s privacy.
FAIT-O-RAMA! Other than teaching me how to make her “highballs” and that “Je vais te botter le cul” meant that I was about to get hit, I really learned very little French culture from my aforementioned Montreal mémé.
Trudeau posted what appears to be the same message in English.
Canadians — long known for being some of the nicest people on the planet — chimed in the comments that they too want a divorce from Canada’s commie leader.
“On behalf of Canada, I would also like a divorce,” one Instagram user posted.
“How can you lead a country when you can’t lead your own family? Please divorce us,” another user commented.
Another Instagram user suggested that Sophie Trudeau was getting out while the Trudeau Train was slowing down, commenting, “You decide to leave him just before he gets kicked out as Prime Minister. You were with him when he singlehandedly destroyed this country.”
Trudeau’s office released a statement that included:
Sophie and the Prime Minister have signed a legal separation agreement. They have worked to ensure that all legal and ethical steps with regards to their decision to separate have been taken, and will continue to do so moving forward.
They remain a close family and Sophie and the Prime Minister are focused on raising their kids in a safe, loving and collaborative environment. Both parents will be a constant presence in their children’s lives and Canadians can expect to often see the family together.
Speaking of the family being together, they are scheduled to take a vacation next week.
On their anniversary, Sophie posted the following to Instagram:
Together for 19 years, married for 17, we have navigated through sunny days, heavy storms, and everything in between and it ain’t over.
You all know I keep things honest: long-term relationships are challenging in so many ways. They demand constant work, flexibility, compromise, sacrifice, devotion, patience, effort, and so much more. None of us are perfect and so there is no perfect relationship, but love is only true when it keeps you safe, sets you free, and makes you grow. Omnia Vincit Amor.
There have been no reasons given for the impending divorce, but here are a few suggestions:
- Some people have speculated that Trudeau is gay.
- Trudeau’s kisses taste like Xi Jinping’s boot.
- Sophie is no longer turned on by tyrants who use their cavalry to run down old ladies who are peacefully protesting.
SACRE BLEU-O-RAMA! Trudeau’s Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) ran over an elderly woman with a walker during the nation’s “trucker protest” during the winter of 2022.
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