The Ukrainians Are the New Kurds

I never cared for the expression, “Luck of the Irish.” No offense to anyone from the Emerald Isle, but… what luck?! Between the Anglo-Norman invasions, Tudor conquests, British subjugation, potato famines, religious wars, poverty, and having (way) too many freckles, the Irish never struck me as a particularly lucky people.

“Luck of the Irish?” Yeah, right! How ‘bout the “Luck of the Jews” or “Luck of the Native Americans,” while we’re at it.

Because, the undeniable truth is, some cultures and ethnicities have been way luckier than others. Just the way of the world, I’m afraid. Some regions of the Earth have witnessed generational strife, hatred, and bloodshed for thousands of years; others are pure and untouched -- a planetary paradise of peace, tranquility, and boundless beauty.

It’s kind of weird, when you think about it that way: Millions of folks slaughtering each other over small slivers of land in muddy Ukraine, the deserts of Yemen, North Africa, and the wastelands of the Middle East… but nobody’s fighting over the beachfront property in Tahiti or Hawaii.

Some people are simply luckier than others.

“Luck of the WASP”? You betcha! No argument about that one! “Luck of [fill-in-the-blank]?” Yeah, not as much.

Unlucky people learn different history lessons than lucky people. If you’re fortunate enough to be a citizen of the United States of America, then congratulations: You’re starting life with pocket Aces and a bankroll of chips. 

If you’re an American, history is a tale of triumph: How the backwoods hicks, losers, risk-takers, castoffs, and hillbillies built a New Country in the New World that became the world’s preeminent superpower. It instills within you a sense of inevitability — that all things are possible, if you work hard enough, pray long enough, and dream big enough.

Well, of course Americans are an optimistic people! We beat the Brits, invented a new government, built the #1 economy, have the best technology and entertainment, won a pair of World Wars, and left our flag on the freaking moon. If this was your history, you’d be a cocky you-know-what, too.

European history — and thus, European culture — is very different:

A total of 61% of French people express a pessimistic outlook about their personal lives, and 69% about their country’s future. Similarly, 56% of Italians evince pessimism about their personal lives, while 72% do so with respect to their country’s future. … Italian, French and German respondents show the most pessimism regarding their countries’ futures.

Israel, like Europe, doesn’t share America’s optimism. Jewish history is many things, but “lucky” doesn’t come anywhere close to describing it. Instead, Jewish history is the tragic tale of what happens when a smaller country gets overrun and manhandled by the regional superpower du jour. In the case of the Romans, the Jews lost their country for 2,000 years.

Spoiler Alert: Didn’t work out so well for ‘em.

It's a big reason why Israel has been so hesitant to ruffle Putin’s feathers, or side more strongly with Ukraine: Historically, pissing off a nearby superpower is tantamount to playing with (hell)fire. It can cost you your country for many millenniums. 

Right now, the Ukrainian people are in danger of becoming the new Kurds.

The history of the Kurds — all the broken promises and shattered dreams — is absolutely heartbreaking. They’ve been screwed over repeatedly. Their culture, language, and traditions are being exterminated. In 1988, Saddam Hussein used chemical weapons against them. Then, when President George H.W. Bush urged the Kurds “to take matters into their own hands, to force Saddam Hussein, the dictator, to step aside,” they tried their best: They took up arms and led the charge — bravely and courageously.

America abandoned them. We did nothing as Saddam’s forces destroyed so many.

And now, the Kurdish people — a vast, sprawling ethnicity of 30 to 45 million men, women, and children — are stateless.

The regional superpowers were all very happy to use the Kurds as pawns. At various times, they were very useful chess pieces.

Alas, their primary purpose was being expendable. And when the chess game ended, nobody cared about them anymore.

When the Russian war machine rolled into Ukraine, the bravery and tenacity of the Ukrainian soldiers impressed the whole world. Clearly, Putin underestimated the extent and the ferocity of the Ukrainian fighting spirit. What many “experts” predicted would be a one-week war is now in its third year.

But those experts forgot their Russian history: The first year of EVERY Russian war is ALWAYS a complete and utter [EXPLETIVE]-show! It was true in both World Wars; it was true during the Napoleonic invasion; it was also true in Ukraine. Competent Russian generals tend to “fall out of windows” and/or suffer untimely deaths; cronyism is rewarded; so, the first year of a war is almost always a horrible Russian bloodbath — a crude, embarrassing display of incompetence and ineptitude.

Then, after a year or so, Russia figures it out: They keep throwing bodies at the problem until the problem is solved — or the Russian regime collapses. Most of the time, it works out okay.

And this takes us to today.

European nations, along with the Biden administration, were delighted to dull Russian blades over the bodies of dead Ukrainians. It was a Machiavellian decision: Let’s use the Ukrainians to drain the Russian war machine.

The longer the war, the greater the damage to Putin’s military.

That’s splendid news for England, France, Germany, and the rest of NATO. Before, European nations paid their NATO dues so Americans would fight for them; now, Ukraine is eating artillery on their behalf. No matter how the Russia-Ukraine conflict ultimately turns out, the Russian Bear has already been weakened. And that’s what Europe wanted most of all!

Even if it comes at the cost of the complete destruction of Ukraine.

Curiously, the population of Ukraine is now less than 38 million, making it roughly the same size as the Kurds. But unlike the Kurds, the Ukrainians still have their own country.

For now.

I hope they’re wise enough to keep it.