It has been obvious for the last four years that the only time Joe Biden's heart was really into playing president was when the White House Doctor Feelgood cornered the market on Adderall and pumped up the old boy for a big event. He was like a chimp who learned a few simple human tasks — if they gave him one thing to focus on, he could entertain everyone at the zoo for an hour.
Biden has been even less enthusiastic about doing president stuff since the election. To be more precise, his handlers are keeping him out of the public eye. This isn't because they're worried about him or embarrassed by what he might do; it's because they've got to keep him propped up and signing pardons for almost everyone except Pontius Pilate. The Democrats might want to change their minds and release the Epstein list just so Biden can do Jeff a solid and posthumously pardon him and all of their friends who are on it.
People who aren't insane know that my headline for this column is a joke.
Kind of.
The thing is, the Democrats are so looney tunes that nothing they do surprises me anymore. It is almost impossible for me to be too absurd. I worry that any sarcastic, ridiculous remark of mine could become true if I put it out into the universe. If I say something like, "Hillary Clinton is pulling the wings off bats in her attic in Chappaqua," I would have cause to worry about the bat population in her neighborhood.
She does have a permanently boiling cauldron in her attic, though.
This clemency spree by Biden's handlers is returning some very unsavory characters back into the wild. This is from a post Rick wrote:
A Maryland woman who murdered two of her husbands and her boyfriend for the insurance payouts is the recipient of Joe Biden's "historic" clemency executive action that saw 1,500 criminals have their sentences commuted, with 39 others pardoned outright.
Friend of Mrs. Clinton's?
It's easy to imagine the people running Biden's brain coming up with reasons that he pardoned the people in the headline.
John Wilkes Booth was a tortured artist whose actions at Ford's Theater were taken out of context. Also, Republicans deserve bad things.
Jeffrey Epstein reminds me of an older version of my boy Hunter. And who doesn't like sniffing a little kid now and then?
As the greatest Roman Catholic since Saint Gregory the Great (according to The New York Times), I think Steven Bochco should be forgiven for "Cop Rock." He gave us "NYPD Blue," after all. Now all you young girls out there tell your parents that your Catholic president wants you to get an abortion for Christmas!
I'm probably going to regret making fun of any of this. Please enjoy this memory from "Cop Rock" while I go burn some sage.
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