Ultimately, the bell tolls for everyone, and it may now be tolling for the suavest man ever to hit the big screen. That’s right: we may have seen the last of Agent 007. The James Bond series is currently tangled up in red tape that woke executives have spooled out, and the dashing, unflappable, impeccably dressed, outrageously smooth special agent may finally have reached the end of the line. As we prepare to attend his wake and say some words of sympathy to Miss Moneypenny, however, the real question is this: how has he lasted this long?
Fox News reported Saturday that “the next installment in the ‘James Bond’ franchise is still in development limbo due to a rift between the series' main producer and its new owners, Amazon.” It seems that “longtime Bond producer Barbara Broccoli and Amazon — which bought MGM studios in 2021 — are in an ‘ugly stalemate’ over decisions about the future of the franchise.” If you suspect that this “ugly stalemate” has to be over whether this dashing, upper-crust, womanizing agent for the forces of good is going to be turned into a woke shadow of his former self, you’re right on the money.
During a recent meeting to discuss Bond’s fate, one Amazon executive laid it on the line, saying: "I have to be honest, I don't think James Bond is a hero." Of course. How could he be? Think about all the ways in which Bond is not a hero from the standpoint of a grim, humorless, doctrinaire leftist. Bond, in all his incarnations from Sean Connery to Daniel Craig, has been white. And that’s just the beginning of his sins.
He is most decidedly not gay. He doesn’t believe in body positivity. He is not trans: for all his interest in women, clearly has no interest in becoming one. He is just the opposite of a whining victim: he is a joyful rogue who doesn’t take himself too seriously but always comes out on top. He drinks alcohol, with no concern about the burden he may one day be on the healthcare system.
Bond has access to sophisticated gadgetry that gets him out of any number of tight scrapes, but he is also an endless fount of ingenuity, showing repeatedly that he is able to get out of the most difficult situations solely by means of his wit and whatever implements may be at hand. To the horror of leftists everywhere, he doesn’t need any government assistance. Yet he is not anti-government; in fact, he is in the employ of the British government, which has a history of colonialism, instead of working on behalf of the oppressed brown peoples of the world.
So for a woke Amazon top dog, what’s to like? No wonder he or she or xe wants Bond unrecognizably woke or dead. There are unlikely to be any other choices. Broccoli “has had creative control over the ‘007’ film franchise for over thirty years,” but now she “doesn't trust algorithm-centric Amazon with a character she helped to mythologize through big-screen storytelling and gut instinct." Stating her grievances with admirable succinctness, Broccoli said: "These people are f***ing idiots." That is clear from the fact that “one eager Amazon executive floated the idea of various Bond TV spin-offs, including a potential ‘Moneypenny’ spin-off, or a female 007 spin-off,” but Broccoli nixed them all.
This battle has been going on for a while. “For the last several years,” notes Fox, “Broccoli has fended off a variety of ideas within the industry that Bond could take on a different identity in terms of gender or race in upcoming films.” Broccoli, however, insists that Bond "should always be played by a man, and should always be played by a Brit." That’s not gonna win her any DEI points, and it gets worse.
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Amazon wants Bond to battle villains based on real-life people that the left hates and fears. That’s right: if woke executives get their way, 007 will be fighting Elon Musk and, inevitably, Bad Orange Man. That’s what totalitarians do: they politicize everything and are intent on not allowing James Bond to escape their grasp.
The woke Amazon execs are actually the ultimate Bond villain. They don't expect Mr. Bond to make money. Like Auric Goldfinger, they expect him to die. If they prevail, and the world has to bid Bond adieu, we can at least take solace in the fact that he lasted this long. With his cheerful and unapologetic womanizing, flashy gadgetry, and impeccable sense of style, Bond was the quintessential hero of the swinging Sixties. Since then, he has grown progressively more anachronistic. Nowadays, if the woke could really have their way with the Bond series, we’d see Bond beaten badly by a trans lesbian agent of color who worked for North Korea and then put on trial for war crimes. Kudos to Barbara Broccoli for holding the line against this madness. May she prevail, and enjoy a celebratory martini — shaken, not stirred.
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